This one is from me, Eli. Abby’s husband and partner in business.
I want to tell you a little about what it’s like to be married to an artist.
Thursday night was going to be our date night.
When I got back home, Abby was at her computer updating the Soul Journey workbook. She just wanted to work on it “for a few minutes.” I was in a mood anyways, started doing other stuff and.... we lost the momentum.
The date didn’t happen. By 11:30 I getting ready to go to sleep.
Then she came downstairs glowing.
“Eli, I just had a breakthrough. The spiritual and emotional arch of the journey is EPIC! The meditations are flowing, the journaling questions are coming together, the course is going to be so much better.”
I could feel my tired self wanting to say, that’s great, tell me in the morning.
Instead I heard myself say, “Okay, we just need to put that one thing on the website.”
By 4 a.m. there were 25 sticky notes on the wall, arrows everywhere, ideas flying. Somewhere in there I realized: this was our date.
The creative genius zone
Abby has always been a night owl. Raising kids, she’s had to change that a lot, and we both want more balance in our lives.
But when you’re an artist, or when you awaken that part of yourself, there are moments when you drop into a creative genius zone. The fire is burning, the energy is flowing, and everything connects.
We don’t wait for inspiration. We show up and paint, and do the work, whether we feel inspired or not. That’s part of the practice.
But when that fire does come, you can’t decide when it shows up. So sometimes you stay up late, and sleep in a little the next morning. Sometimes you just have to let yourself have those frantic, beautiful moments, because that’s where the juice comes from.
Keep a pack of sticky notes nearby. You’re going to need them.
We’ve always made things together
Abby and I met dancing at a concert 17 years ago, and we’ve been building projects side by side ever since. Selling t-shirts and her art in the Phish parking lots. Putting her prints in mat frames and wrapping them in plastic. Selling granola bars. Doing fairs. Hosting festivals and throwing parties. Then the farm, growing and selling vegetables.
We’re both entrepreneurs at heart, and every one of those projects brought us to this moment.
So when I saw that Abby’s art was ready to grow into something bigger, and that she needed help with the business side, I jumped in. I was excited. I thought I was just there to help.
The Early Days: Phish Lot (above), Setting up on Venice Beach (below)
I never thought I was an artist
Growing up, I was the analytical one. I liked learning from textbooks and classes. I loved dancing and being around creative people, but I didn’t think I could paint or make anything.
Looking back, though, I was always creating. On the farm, I designed where everything would go, how a space would feel. At our festivals and parties, I was the one thinking about where the energy would flow.
Early Farm Design (StayTru era) - when we lived in that 6 meter dome labeled A + E
And in Abby’s paintings, I’ve always been a kind of muse from behind. She has the skill with the brush. But I’d stand there and say, “This doesn’t fit. The energy doesn’t flow this way. What if you just bring in that?” And I’d make some motion with my hands. Sometimes she had no idea what I meant. Sometimes, eventually, she did.
Then, working on the business, something clicked. This wasn’t just helping my wife. It was another project we were making together. I loved being creative with the strategy, with the vision of where it could go.
I realized I’m an artist too.
The website became my painting
That’s why I keep going back to the website. It's one of my spaces I can start to use my creatitivity. Right now it’s the Soul Journey landing page, and it has become my canvas.
It’s gone through the same stages Abby’s paintings do. First, everything needed to come out: every idea, every section, every way of saying it. Then came the messy middle, where it honestly looked like a mess. Now I’m refining. Moving sections around. Making it clearer. Cutting what repeats, even though I know there’s still some repeating, and I know it’s not perfect.
How many ways can you say what you’re trying to say?
That’s what art is.
You take a feeling, the feeling of connection, and try to express it. It comes out differently every time.
Abby will keep making new paintings. I’ll keep making new versions of the website. And in three or four months I’ll probably change it all again, sure this time it’s really good.
Always refining
Something came up for us in therapy a couple of weeks ago: we both love to refine things and make them better. That’s what passionate people do. We go back in again and again.
That’s exactly what we’ve been doing with Soul Journey. Every time we go back in, we make it clearer. We sift out what doesn’t need to be there. We hone in. It’s just part of making a painting and working through the messy middle.
And honestly, it’s not always easy working with your wife. Our boundaries aren’t always so clear, sometimes we need to protect them better. Business follows us into family dinner and 'I gotta tell you one more idea!' comes up while lying in bed.
We go out on a date and promise not to talk about the business. Sometimes we manage. Often we don’t, because we’re passionate people, and talking about the next thing is what lights us up. Even with the occasional fight, It becomes a painting we’re making together.
Being married to a painter, there’s paint everywhere. On the clothes. On the chairs. On things I didn’t know could get paint on them.
It used to drive me crazy. (I gotta give her credit, Abby has gotten better.)
But I’ve come to see it as a sign of something bigger. When you live creatively, the color gets into everything: your home, your food, how you raise your kids. Life stops being about getting from point A to point B. It becomes one big creation.
So if something in this is speaking to you, and you’re ready to reconnect with your own creativity, come join Abby in Soul Journey. It’s the course she was up until 4 a.m. pouring herself into, and it starts November 2nd.
And if your husband grumbles about paint on the kitchen chairs, tell him this comes from someone who knows: it’s bringing more creativity into both of your lives, and into your home.
Creative wife, happy life.
Baruch Hashem, we get to make this together.
With love,
Eli
